True Love After 40

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I believe there are some dangerous myths running amok in the American society that keeps Single people defensive about finding a life partner.  We've gone too far in teaching young people to be self-reliant and independent.  As a consequence, we have millions of Singles who have convinced themselves that they are happier being single.  The feminist movement has had a big hand in this attitude for women.  I'm 42, so I've been spoon-fed these ideas from the cradle, and that's along with a very conservative Christian upbringing!

So, what are some of these dangerous myths?

• Self-Sufficiency to a Fault: "I can do it myself."  This myth reminds me of what a two year old child would say.  The child is proud of her new-found skill and wants to be more independent.  Problem is, it sounds pretty immature on an adult.  We are social creatures, meant to thrive in community with others.  To be independent when it is necessary is a great skill to have.  To be stubbornly insistent that "I don't need anyone's help" is Self-Sufficiency to a fault.

• You Must Love Yourself Before You Can Make a Relationship Work.  Grant it, if you've got some serious, unresolved childhood trauma, deal with it.  Trouble is, none of us is going to ever attain perfection before we get into a relationship.  Learning to be self-aware and recognize repeating patterns goes a long way in creating a successful relationship.

• S/he Should Accept Me Just as I Am.  If you said this to a potential boss during an interview, you'd be given the "don't call us; we'll call you" brush off.  As I said already, none of us is perfect.  We can always improve our behaviors, appearance, manners, skills, etc.  The dangerous word here is "should."  Why "should" anyone accept you just as you are?  The only person who did that was your mother, and only when you were very tiny and helpless.  The most successful couples realize that disagreements are part of the package and they deal with them.  They know to brush off the little annoyances and address the big stuff.

Now it's your turn.  What myths can you think of that keep Singles from finding their True Love?

Thanks for reading and commenting, Michelle