True Love After 40

I just talked to my 80 year old grandmother today on the phone. I love her and I enjoy talking to her, yet her theme is always the same: a litany of complaints and criticisms. Not of me, of course. She has a humorous way of talking, so I generally laugh a lot during our conversations. Still, I wonder.

I just did a self-reflective exercise in which I was to write my legacy, the thing I would want people to say about me on my 80th birthday. I've done this exercise several times before I revisited it during the last week. Here's what I wrote this time:

"She is a kind person, generous with her time, humorous, a joy to be around. She inspires others, she is very persuasive, but ever so gentle in her approach. She always knows exactly what to say and has impeccable timing. Graceful and charming, she makes others feel immediately comfortable."

Now, I have 38 years to make this dream a reality. In the meantime, I will begin with a challenge to myself to refrain from making any kind of complaint for the next 7 days. I know my thoughts may turn to complaints, so I will work on reframing the thoughts, finding a way to be grateful for something instead of complaining, even if I choose not to give voice to my thoughts.

This should be interesting. I wonder what I'll learn from this. Who else is up to the challenge? I'd love to have you join me in this experiment so we can share what we've learned.

Michelle E. Vásquez, MS, LPC

Working on her Legacy today

M.S., in Texas (a male reader of my Relationship Success e-newsletter) had this to say:

Michelle - that is wonderful.   Overtly and consciously deciding what we would like to be and how we would like to be perceived could be powerful, I believe.  I am going to try it...although realizing the difference between what I would like my "legacy" to be and what it would be right now may be somewhat painful...   Thanks, M.S

Ashley M. in Texas (another reader of my Relationship Success e-newsletter), had this to say:

I think i'm up for that!    What do I want people to say when I'm 80:  "Wow!  She is truly an amazing woman!  She's strong and so wise.  She's always there when I need her and she cracks the funniest jokes ever!  She's got many many years to go!"     I am grateful for this challenge of no complaints for a week!  Sincerely, Ashley