True Love After 40

Forget "Seek First to Understand" and Bring on "Shoot First and Ask Questions Later"

Red alert! Shields up! Anytime you feel threatened, go ahead and strike.  Don't try to figure it out.  You've got to defend yourself.  Who did you marry?  If your relationship is a battlefield, you need some serious help.

Couples who understand Stephen Covey's habit, "Seek first to understand" know that defensiveness leads to misunderstanding. They choose to lower their defenses, making themselves vulnerable enough to really listen to each other.

Decide that no matter what your spouse does, you are going to take a step back and evaluate the situation first instead of going on the attack.  If you are married to someone you love, that person is your friend.  Stop treating your spouse like an enemy. 

Give each other the benefit of the doubt, listen with your whole being, and seek to understand each other.

Next habit: Criticize and Complain: "You're Not the Same Person I Married"

If you are a couple (or part of a couple) experiencing this habit, join me on Thursday, January 7, for a no cost, one hour, informative and interactive workshop on this topic.  Sign up here: http://www.trueloveafter40.com/workshopsignup.htm